Running a Family – Fairly and Wisely

It’s funny that many people actually have the impression that because we homeschool our kids, and we’ve been speaking and writing about it for so many years, that we have no problems when dealing with our kids. Whenever I mention that I sometimes find it challenging when dealing with my kids, I would inevitably get a response like, “What? YOU have problems with your kids? But you’re homeschooling – that means you’ve NO PROBLEMS!”That’s a misconception, to say the least! Homeschoolers are not free from problems – we still have to deal with dissatisfaction, sibling rivalry, discipline issues (like training them to make their beds in the mornings!), time-management issues (or the lack of it!), etc etc. It’s just that, being at home with our children give us greater opportunities to confront and deal with such issues immediately when they crop up, instead of having them swept under the rug and let them fester there unnoticed. When we are able to give immediate attention to issues that affect our kids, they are unlikely to get too big to handle.
Communication is the key, and tolerance and acceptance of one another help a lot for family members to co-exist in the same house! We encourage diversity of learning styles but we also insist that everyone respects everyone else for their uniqueness. We do not accept bickering in our family – only open discussions that leads to a mutually accepted conclusion, or compromise. There is no room for aggressive behaviours or tantrums. Everyone is treated fairly and with respect. There is no place forfavoritism in the family!Despite all that in place, problems still arise when there is a clash in personality styles. For example, when one sibling is super neat and organized and the other is not. To make things worse, the latter invades into the former’s private space, and so, conflict arises. But there is no need to protest with an animal head, or to threaten to make a police report, or like what some neighbours do, report one another to the municipality council over trivial matters (like the indiscriminate disposal of waste matter).
Whatever happened to face-to-face discussions? What we do whenever our children have issues with one another is to get them to sit down together and talk it out. They learn to listen to the other party and try to see their point of view. They learn to express themselves minus the overwhelming emotions so that they get their message across calmly and clearly. In the end, they come to a compromise, each having to sacrifice a little for the other so that they can be happy enough together.Running family is not unlike running a country – the head of the family has to be fair yet firm and should never favor one party over the other. When children see that their parents are fair and firm, they will be respectful and accepting of one another. We have three children and all three have different wants and needs. Trying to fulfill all of them is not an easy task. We parents need to be patient and wise, and strive to be fair but firm in dealing with the different demands of our children. To take theauthoritarian stand is not the answer, for that would only suppress their feelings further. Being too lenient will invite trouble because the kids will become spoilt and demanding. Taking the middle way is always the best and our children will respect us for that.That’s how we become one happy family together! Can we do the same for our country?
It’s funny that many people actually have the impression that because we homeschool our kids, and we’ve been speaking and writing about it for so many years, that we have no problems when dealing with our kids. Whenever I mention that I sometimes find it challenging when dealing with my kids, I would inevitably get a response like, “What? YOU have problems with your kids? But you’re homeschooling – that means you’ve NO PROBLEMS!”
That’s a misconception, to say the least!
Homeschoolers are not free from problems – we still have to deal with dissatisfaction, sibling rivalry, discipline issues (like training them to make their beds in the mornings!), time-management issues (or the lack of it!), etc etc. It’s just that, being at home with our children give us greater opportunities to confront and deal with such issues immediately when they crop up, instead of having them swept under the rug and let them fester there unnoticed. When we are able to give immediate attention to issues that affect our kids, they are unlikely to get too big to handle.
Communication is the key, and tolerance and acceptance of one another help a lot for family members to co-exist in the same house! We encourage diversity of learning styles but we also insist that everyone respects everyone else for their uniqueness. We do not accept bickering in our family – only open discussions that leads to a mutually accepted  conclusion, or compromise. There is no room for aggressive behaviours or tantrums. Everyone is treated fairly and with respect. There is no place for favoritism in the family!
Despite all that in place, problems still arise when there is a clash in personality styles. For example, when one sibling is super neat and organized and the other is not. To make things worse, the latter invades into the former’s private space, and so, conflict arises. But there is no need to protest with an animal head, or to threaten to make a police report, or like what some neighbours do, report one another to the municipality council over trivial matters (like the indiscriminate disposal of waste matter).
Whatever happened to face-to-face discussions? What we do whenever our children have issues with one another is to get them to sit down together and talk it out. They learn to listen to the other party and try to see their point of view. They learn to express themselves minus the overwhelming emotions so that they get their message across calmly and clearly. In the end, they come to a compromise, each having to sacrifice a little for the other so that they can be happy enough together.
Running family is not unlike running a country – the head of the family has to be fair yet firm and should never favor one party over the other. When children see that their parents are fair and firm, they will be respectful and accepting of one another. We have three children and all three have different wants and needs. Trying to fulfill all of them is not an easy task. We parents need to be patient and wise, and strive to be fair but firm in dealing with the different demands of our children. To take the authoritarian stand is not the answer, for that would only suppress their feelings further. being too lenient will invite trouble because the kids will become spoilt and demanding. Taking the middle way is always the best and our children will respect us for that.
That’s how we become one happy family together! Can we do the same for our country?

It’s funny that many people actually have the impression that because we homeschool our kids, and we’ve been speaking and writing about it for so many years, that we have no problems when dealing with our kids. Whenever I mention that I sometimes find it challenging when dealing with my kids, I would inevitably get a response like, “What? YOU have problems with your kids? But you’re homeschooling – that means you’ve NO PROBLEMS!”

That’s a misconception, to say the least!

Homeschoolers are not free from problems – we still have to deal with dissatisfaction, sibling rivalry, discipline issues (like training them to make their beds in the mornings!), time-management issues (or the lack of it!), etc etc. It’s just that, being at home with our children give us greater opportunities to confront and deal with such issues immediately when they crop up, instead of having them swept under the rug and let them fester there unnoticed. When we are able to give immediate attention to issues that affect our kids, they are unlikely to get too big to handle.

Communication is the key, and tolerance and acceptance of one another help a lot for family members to co-exist in the same house! We encourage diversity of learning styles but we also insist that everyone respects everyone else for their uniqueness. We do not accept bickering in our family – only open discussions that leads to a mutually accepted conclusion, or compromise. There is no room for aggressive behaviours or tantrums. Everyone is treated fairly and with respect. There is no place forfavoritism in the family!Despite all that in place, problems still arise when there is a clash in personality styles. For example, when one sibling is super neat and organized and the other is not. To make things worse, the latter invades into the former’s private space, and so, conflict arises. But there is no need to protest with an animal head, or to threaten to make a police report, or like what some neighbours do, report one another to the municipality council over trivial matters (like the indiscriminate disposal of waste matter).

Whatever happened to face-to-face discussions? What we do whenever our children have issues with one another is to get them to sit down together and talk it out. They learn to listen to the other party and try to see their point of view. They learn to express themselves minus the overwhelming emotions so that they get their message across calmly and clearly. In the end, they come to a compromise, each having to sacrifice a little for the other so that they can be happy enough together.Running family is not unlike running a country – the head of the family has to be fair yet firm and should never favor one party over the other. When children see that their parents are fair and firm, they will be respectful and accepting of one another. We have three children and all three have different wants and needs. Trying to fulfill all of them is not an easy task. We parents need to be patient and wise, and strive to be fair but firm in dealing with the different demands of our children. To take theauthoritarian stand is not the answer, for that would only suppress their feelings further. Being too lenient will invite trouble because the kids will become spoilt and demanding. Taking the middle way is always the best and our children will respect us for that.That’s how we become one happy family together! Can we do the same for our country?

It’s funny that many people actually have the impression that because we homeschool our kids, and we’ve been speaking and writing about it for so many years, that we have no problems when dealing with our kids. Whenever I mention that I sometimes find it challenging when dealing with my kids, I would inevitably get a response like, “What? YOU have problems with your kids? But you’re homeschooling – that means you’ve NO PROBLEMS!”

That’s a misconception, to say the least!

Homeschoolers are not free from problems – we still have to deal with dissatisfaction, sibling rivalry, discipline issues (like training them to make their beds in the mornings!), time-management issues (or the lack of it!), etc etc. It’s just that, being at home with our children give us greater opportunities to confront and deal with such issues immediately when they crop up, instead of having them swept under the rug and let them fester there unnoticed. When we are able to give immediate attention to issues that affect our kids, they are unlikely to get too big to handle.

Communication is the key, and tolerance and acceptance of one another help a lot for family members to co-exist in the same house! We encourage diversity of learning styles but we also insist that everyone respects everyone else for their uniqueness. We do not accept bickering in our family – only open discussions that leads to a mutually accepted  conclusion, or compromise. There is no room for aggressive behaviours or tantrums. Everyone is treated fairly and with respect. There is no place for favoritism in the family!

Despite all that in place, problems still arise when there is a clash in personality styles. For example, when one sibling is super neat and organized and the other is not. To make things worse, the latter invades into the former’s private space, and so, conflict arises. But there is no need to protest with an animal head, or to threaten to make a police report, or like what some neighbours do, report one another to the municipality council over trivial matters (like the indiscriminate disposal of waste matter).

Whatever happened to face-to-face discussions? What we do whenever our children have issues with one another is to get them to sit down together and talk it out. They learn to listen to the other party and try to see their point of view. They learn to express themselves minus the overwhelming emotions so that they get their message across calmly and clearly. In the end, they come to a compromise, each having to sacrifice a little for the other so that they can be happy enough together.

Running family is not unlike running a country – the head of the family has to be fair yet firm and should never favor one party over the other. When children see that their parents are fair and firm, they will be respectful and accepting of one another. We have three children and all three have different wants and needs. Trying to fulfill all of them is not an easy task. We parents need to be patient and wise, and strive to be fair but firm in dealing with the different demands of our children. To take the authoritarian stand is not the answer, for that would only suppress their feelings further. being too lenient will invite trouble because the kids will become spoilt and demanding. Taking the middle way is always the best and our children will respect us for that.

That’s how we become one happy family together! Can we do the same for our country?

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